Well, it was a super fun trip to Florida- exactly what I needed- lots of relaxing, talking about the real world (aka NOT DC STUFF), hanging out with family and dogs and a pool and a barbecue and central air and HBO and lots of good rest. Maybe only people who live in DC can understand the importance of getting away from work and work email/calls, because DC is a 24/7 work city. There have been dozens of articles written about young people burning out because they are constantly "available." Those of us who work from home are dealing with a Catch-22, in that we have enormous freedom to design our own workflows, but have an equally enormous challenge in getting that separation between work life and home life. I hope to have a family and a kid or two one day and really don't want to be that crazy mom who has her blackberry at the table and misses the science fair, so I am sticking to my guns about taking real vacations now (while still excelling when I am at work). I don't think it's indulgent to do that, I think it's totally necessary to have a balanced life. After all, if you don't take the time to enjoy life, then what is the point of working so hard to earn it? I feel great about my trip and I am ALMOST ready for work on Monday. I am going to start reading emails tomorrow and getting some prep work done so I don't walk into a shitstorm.
I can't believe I am 30. I am 30! I got some great bday cards, a bracelet from Mary Ann, a ring from Rachel, and a very luxurious pedicure from Jackie, and some gorgeous flowers from B. My favorite flowers.... swoon! I don't feel very different, just a little more pressure to be a grownup this decade.
Anyway now I am back in DC and lordy it's hot. I have always been sensitive to heat, but since chemo it's started to get worse. It could be partly related to the mental memory of getting chemo in the summers for two years in a row and throwing up when the temp was over 90, but who knows. All i know is when it's hot, I get a migraine, which also comes with nausea and fatigue. I am in good spirits when I wake up (even went to the gym this morning), but the oppressiveness outside has drained all my energy for the day already.
Tonight I am at home, relaxing and stretching on the floor with the fan on, which really helps. I read an article about yoga for migraines which has been a little helpful. To be honest though, I just want the heat to pass and a storm to come through. It looks like it might happen tomorrow night. My fingers are crossed! Would be a good way to start the week.
Tuesday morning is my 1.5 year post-SCT scan. This is the penultimate scan before I can exhale (slightly). My 2 year scan will be a big one. From what I have read from other cancer blogs, if I can make it to two years, my chances of relapse drop from 50% (my odds now) to 20%. 50-50 is a horrible feeling that I try not to think about. 80-20 is much more my speed. If I can get through this scan and the next, I will celebrate.
I don't know what I can do better as far as keeping my body cancer-free. I now wear SPF 100 and eat pretty well (last week's vacation being a bit of an exception, but i jumped right back into my exercising, low sugar/low-processed food routine with minimal cravings so it must not have been too bad of a week). I drank some while I was in Florida but only got drunk one of the nights (on sangria, that doesn't count coz there is fruit in it, right? :))
I don't have any other symptoms- no lumps, no night sweats, no pain, no fever, no weight gain or loss. I am slightly worried about my blood counts taking a long time to recover (had that long cold a while back that was pretty annoying), but I don't think that's a symptom of anything other than the damage to my bone marrow.
Anyway, I figure if it's back, I will make an appointment with Dr. O'Connor at Columbia in NYC and go from there. He is a much closer doc than the guy in Texas, and has all the same options. After that I will figure out work/home/money/treatment stuff.
If it's not back, I am having an ice cream sundae.
B is coming August 4 and I am way too excited. We've already started our list of things to do this time. Once again it's a jam packed list but it's nice to daydream about what we want to do. To be honest I just want him to live here and then we can do one thing on the list for the rest of our lives, but I have to patient as he figures out how to leave NOLA and his job. I feel like he wants to leave, but I don't want to push because that all needs to come from inside himself so it feels right. I can wait as long as there are lots of visits!!
Alright back to watching teen angst movies from the late 90s in the dark with the fan on!!
Love T
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