Port Removal Day

I have been in and out of being a little bit high on drugs for the past three days (sudden terrible cold), so forgive this ramble, but I am happy.

Today I faced one of my biggest fears-- I got my MediPort removed. They wouldn't let me keep it, but they showed me, it's this small heart shaped thing with a tube that went up my neck. They told me mine was even smaller coz I'm a "small individual." whatever that means.

Apparently placing it is super tricky, but pulling it out isn't so bad. They put me under twilight sleep and it felt AMAZING. I love that stuff holy cow. But it wasn't enough and I did have to ask for more during (which they gave me very quickly- thank you nurses and your liberal use of drugs). But, I did cry my eyes out when they were giving me the numbing shot, and screamed "it hurts, it hurts it hurts" and bawled and then apologized for bawling but the twilight sleep stuff had made me unable to control my emotions, hahah. Anyway, after that I just tried to sleep. and then it was over. I relaxed for a while in post-op, then Phyllis came (with coffee!), and took me home. I checked in around 8AM and was home around 12:45PM. Not too bad.

I slept for awhile longer, woke up and got a bagel delivered (thank you for existing, GrubHub), and slept some more.

I just want to say that my BF is the sweetest thing ever and has been so nice to me today even though I know he really wants to tell me to buck up and be tough-- he hasn't said it at all today. Just that he wishes he was here and that he loves me and I'm cute. Just what I needed. And that is awesome.

So, even though I am hacking up a lung, am throbbing with pain in my chest from getting cut open, I am overwhelmed with emotions about what it means to no longer have a port and thus no more easy access to my bloodstream if it is needed and what that means for future treatment... and the most cogent thoughts I can produce are currently going into this blog and not the pile of work I have on my desk... well, despite all that? I love life and I am happy.

Happy End of January Y'all!